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If I were a beetle I’d have 6 legs

I’d live in your teapot.

If I was only half of the beetle I am

Then three legs I clearly would have not.

And I patter, oh yes I patter

I patter away.

Through the one broken spout

Yes I climb in and out   

I patter a-way.

Ladybird yeah you fly away home

Knocking all those spots off of me

Knocking all those spots off of me

If I were a beetle I’d be shiny black

As the boots I wear as I patter

With your bones and your skin

I’ll conform to your kin

And your lifestyle sends me so scatter

And I’m scattered oh yes I’m scattered

I’m scattered away

Compelled to conform

To your neurotic norm

So I’m scattered away.


I don't even care

’cause I'm aware

My home gives you displeasure

Doubt and disdain

My existence explained.

My comforts you can't even measure.

But I'm happy oh yes I'm happy

Why I'm happy this way.

I’ve found something nice

That appeases my vice

You dare take it away.


I represent

The kind you're hell-bent,

On pushing away and destroying.

Your teapot to me

It’s a mere sanctuary,

So eviction I find annoying.

I scurry, I scurry

Why I scurry away

To a hole in the ground

Why the thought's so profound,

But I scurry away.


My shelter is met

By the things that I get

As I scurry about with no credit

And your rules and your regs

Why they cut off my legs

And their purpose seems so effin pathetic.

You're pushing oh yeah you're pushing

Why you push hope away

But for what it is worth

It's not costing the earth,

Where there's my will there's my way.


I am a beetle I'm one of a kind,

I've brothers and sisters just like me

And we all need the space

To live our own pace

And the silly thing is it's so easy

But you build mountains you build

Mountains where my molehill should be

The architect's stake

Makes my freehold a fake

There's no such thing as reality.


So now I'm the beetle without any legs,

Can't even walk home if I want to.

So now I am lame

And I guess you're to blame

If my burden it bears down upon you

Cause it matters oh yes it matters

Why it matters to me.

How I'm using my legs

When my wings are in shreds

And the land is my lone liberty.

Then ladybird yeah I’ll follow you home

For they stole the spots off of me

They stole all the spots off of me

© MOTH 1997

The thoughts and observations of a yeoman facing eviction. The irony is that the beetle is a creature often afforded fewer rights and less protection than humans. In this scenario the yeoman has been afforded fewer rights than the beetle as the beetle can live anywhere he/she chooses. So he imagines that perhaps he’d be better off as a beetle.

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